When 5 loaves and 2 fish aren't enough

-->

I recently went on a 2 week missions trip to The Republic of Benin in Africa. Even before I went, “I knew” that poverty and sickness were widespread in Africa. The life expectancy is 20 years shorter in Benin than in the US and the infant mortality rate is 10 times higher.

In 2007, our missions leader, had asked me to consider going to Benin. I attended the informational meetings, and asked The Lord if he wanted me to go. The cost of the trip was more than $3,000 and as a sign, I asked for The Lord to provide the money.

The power of God hurls mountains into the sea and can feed 5,000 people with 5 loaves and 2 fish. If you do not have the power of God guiding your steps, a missions trip to anywhere is as pointless as throwing rocks at the moon. When The Lord told Moses to lead the Israelites across the desert, Moses responded with a simple request.

Exodus 33:15-16

Then Moses said to him, "If your Presence does not go with us, do not send us up from here. How will anyone know that you are pleased with me and with your people unless you go with us? What else will distinguish me and your people from all the other people on the face of the earth?"

Missions groups to Africa have reported generous outpourings of grace for healing and deliverance. I didn't want to be just another tourist; I wanted the power of God to go with us to heal the sick, raise the dead and set the captives free.

Some will say that I am expecting too much, but my wife suffered from infertility and was healed. She had miscarried several times, but during an intercessory prayer meeting, electricity began to go through her womb and she was healed. Two months later she was pregnant and she did not have any of the problems that had plagued earlier pregnancies.My wife had also suffered from carpal tunnel but The Lord healed that too. During a time of prayer, her wrist grew hot and she was healed. Margie, a lady who used to cut my hair, told me how she had been healed of Leukemia more than 40 years ago. She lay in a hospital, near death when The Lord impressed upon her to summon a Christian man she knew to pray. He prayed for several hours and she walked out of that hospital completely healed. I know many others who have been healed. I have been praying for years that The Lord will heal my wife of arthritis, primarily in her knees and I will continue to pray for it.

Even the homeless in America have better health care than the huddled masses of Africa. If The Lord would perform miracles, in America, a country that is turning it's back on God, then wouldn't he do more for the least and the lost in Africa, who are abandoning the animistic religions and idols of their ancestors, and turning to Jesus? Surely, God would do more in Africa.

The money I prayed for as a sign, did not come. Sometimes, The Lord wants us to step into a difficult place based on faith. Because of a dream, at the 11^th hour, I took a step of faith, put the $3,000 on a credit card, and went. We landed in Ghana, one of Benin's neighbors, and everywhere we saw the fruit of a revival that had swept across that nation in recent years. Gas stations, hair dressers and even semi trucks lovingly incorporated praise for God on their store fronts and in the names of their shops. We happened to overhear 2 men arguing and even the argument acknowledged God. One man shouted at the other that Jesus would certainly punish him because he was not speaking and dealing honestly. Having grown callous to hearing the name of Jesus being used as a curse, it was a welcome contrast. We were glad for the people of Ghana and we wanted The Lord to do the same thing in Benin.

When we finally reached Benin, we were taken by how far reaching the poverty was. The cities were filled with tin shacks and the rural villages were filled with thatched huts. Women balanced huge bowls on their heads, selling their wares, while carrying a baby strapped on their backs. The streets of Contonu, the capital city, were choked with traffic and thousands of people in booths lined the streets each day trying to etch out a life. Everywhere, there were signs that Benin's resources were spread thin and stretched to the point of breaking.

Thousands of mopeds clogged the streets serving as taxis, carrying huge sacks of grain or serving as a family mini van. Dad would drive with a large basket corralled between the handle bars, mom would be in back with bags in each hand and a toddler or two would be sandwiched between them. The air was oppressive and thick with the exhaust of poorly tuned engines making it difficult to breath. The driving was so aggressive that it's best described as a contact sport.

Our accommodations were a stark contrast to the huddled masses of Benin. Our hosts, graciously allowed our team to stay in their very lovely home. They had bedrooms to spare, but lacked furniture. When we arrived, we were humbled to learn that our hosts had purchased beds and furniture for each room. Every day, our missions leader served gourmet meals which we ate on a beautiful 3^rd floor balcony well above the tin shacks of Contonu. Our leader and our hosts were the picture of kindness and grace, so that we never lacked for anything.

At Christmas, Samaritan's Purse hosts “Operation Christmas Child” which collects shoe boxes packed with small gifts and ships them to needy children around the world. Each box has about $20 worth of very basic items: pencils, paper, soap, a tooth brush, a toy, and some hard candy. We were invited by a local pastor to help pass out mosquito nets (which help fight Malaria) and about 100 Samaritans Purse boxes. Word spread through the community and the host church was packed with hundreds of people. The church lacked any windows but had many open archways so that any breeze would bring relief from the heat and humidity. We sat on plain wooden benches, and the choir, dressed in robes, had few instruments, but they sang as beautifully as any songbird that America could boast of. And of course, the choir sang, danced and worshiped with a heaping measure of Africa in each song.

When we finally began distributing the boxes, the people, who had been waiting for hours, pressed in frantically on every side. We managed to hand out 2 boxes before the crowd surged forward, pushing, shouting and fighting with each other. I struggled to remain standing, not wanting to fall on top of some children fighting for a box at my feet. Our team squirmed through the shouting mob and made our way out of the building, feeling overwhelmed. Our illegitimate expectations of giving gifts to smiling, respectful, grateful, children in a neat and orderly way had been violently swept away. The local pastor helped us put it in perspective with grace and humor. He walked up to me, shook my hand, and said with great enthusiasm, “Welcome To Africa”. He is right, that's Africa. He was not demeaning his people as an unruly mob but was reminding us that they are poor and western etiquette is a luxury few can afford. Our mission leader's wife just laughed and said “They are my people”.

We visited a church in the village of Attiema that met in a thatched hut. The villagers got their water from wells but they often got sick because the wells were infected with a fungus. The World Health Organization (WHO) reports that the leading cause of death in the world is from water born diseases (1.8 million every year) and 90% of those deaths are children under the age of 5.

I like to study “backyard chemistry” and knew that a bio sand filter would kill the fungus and stop the sickness. This simple technology has no moving parts, requires no electricity and is used all over the world to purify water with excellent results. The materials cost about $30 per filter, but the time, tools and materials were not available, so I left Attiema with a knot in my stomach. I saw many needs that could be fixed with a little knowledge, a few tools, and a little money, but it had not been part of our mission. It became a splinter in my mind and at night I lay awake asking The Lord why he had brought me to Benin.

Ecclesiastes 1:18

For with much wisdom comes much sorrow; the more knowledge, the more grief.

Our team had the opportunity to pray for the church in Attiema, where the local language is Fon. I usually “interview” people before praying for them but I had no interpreter, so I could not talk to the people. Too often, rather than listen for the still small voice of God I have merely prayed my best wishes and good intentions because it's easier than listening quietly. In a way, not having an interpreter was a blessing. Sounding artificially spiritual when praying was impossible in a foreign language. I was surprised how I unconsciously altered my prayer when I knew that God was not the only one listening. But now, I had to strain to hear that still small voice, more than I ever had before.

Over the years, I have been given prophetic words by different people indicating that the spirit of a father rests on me. That night I prayed for only 2 adults but about 40 children. I was not wanting to pray for that many children but for whatever reason, the finger of God brought them to me. I prayed for them as I would for my own children; blessing their health, their families, their work, their future marriages and faith. With the Holy Spirit pressing upon me, I wept and wept, crying out to God as I laid hands on and prayed for those children.

I wanted The Lord to heal the sick, raise the dead, and set the captives free, but no word has been received from the church in Attiema indicating that any healings took place. Only God knows the future to see what effect our prayers have had. Trying to rest on faith that something worthwhile happened, sucks. I confess to being a faith midget and for purely selfish motives I asked The Lord to let me see the fruit of the trip. But, He has been agonizingly silent.

I saw many needs in Benin, and knew of simple solutions to many of those needs. But we had not prepared for it. When I finally left Benin, I was distraught, and was reminded of Naomi:

Ruth 1:19-21

When they arrived in Bethlehem, the whole town was stirred because of them, and the women exclaimed, "Can this be Naomi?" "Don't call me Naomi, [which means pleasant] " she told them. "Call me Mara [which means bitter], because the Almighty has made my life very bitter. I went away full, but the LORD has brought me back empty. Why call me Naomi? The LORD has afflicted me; the Almighty has brought misfortune upon me."

I had great hopes of what The Lord would do in Benin but I felt as though I brought my 5 loaves and 2 fish to Jesus only to leave empty handed. I am haunted by Benin and since then, like Habakkuk, I have been crying out to God, pouring out my complaint.

Habakkuk 1:2

How long, O LORD, must I call for help, but you do not listen? Or cry out to you, "Violence!" but you do not save? Why do you make me look at injustice? Why do you tolerate wrong?

In my life, I have seen The Lord turn tragedy into triumph, and in Naomi's time He eventually turned Naomi's bitterness to joy. My hope and prayer is that out of the sorrow I feel, The Lord will birth something better. Till then my spirit stands waiting for an answer:

Habakkuk 2:1

I will stand at my watch and station myself on the ramparts;
I will look to see what he will say to me, and what answer I am to give to this complaint.